When I lost something important that to me,I grieve.
I grieve very hard and can't do a damn thing.
But I will never the pain nor the sad past.
I carry that into my mind,my feelings and soul. It drives me hate and mad.
My life isn't worth unless I need find a reason for living myself in this twisted world.
My hate is gotten stronger and I cannot afford tor rise up. It's like there is a hole in the heart. It's so hurt,but I'll manger somehow..
However,I will become strong and work harder.
I' can't to be a loser anymore as I was once...
I have to find any reason to live in myself...
If I find one,that enough for regain my happiness. I believe so because I see there is between organization were absolute. Yes,the yakuza.
At first I thought, Yakuza were nothing more than fucking brainless with no question and doing dumb every act like there were reasons even if it obeying the boss's order nor the money. Of course they only care money when no one getting into their way. No matter who, they hurt and kill, despite the behaviours. Sometimes they don't need a word of men just action of men. They're like the street punks. However that is difference of strength and wills.
I bribed someone to get me to Tojo Clan because there is someone I must look up to it. As he open the arms,I have found my true reason. He is main reason of I live as Yakuza because I respect the chairman who treated me like son to him. I will always obey him as I keep my reason. If I know him long enough,I'll know.
Without him,I would never copy with myself. Like him,I want some yakuza those who followed my orders were respect for the decent rule. I don't care if it was a lie or not,I wanted to take the power. Everything. If he live,I would never gotten involved in such reckless war. I am strong, but I am not the stupid of the likes of those punks.
I would never understand if someone from Tojo clan left and going on trip for becoming a new leaf. I haven't a clue what chairman could see in the man like you. but no matter to me. because I believe him,hwoever maybe..one day...you'll have believe in others....even at the end of your life.
You have nothing to teach me.
Stay alert, Kiryu. I'll eliminate anyone in my way...even if it is you I will face someday..Bye.